wurgurboo: add banter module

Signed-off-by: Jason A. Donenfeld <Jason@zx2c4.com>

cmd/wurgurboo/banter.go

@@ -0,0 +1,70 @@
+/* SPDX-License-Identifier: GPL-2.0
+ *
+ * Copyright (C) 2021 Jason A. Donenfeld. All Rights Reserved.
+ */
+
+package main
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"math/rand"
+	"regexp"
+
+	"golang.zx2c4.com/irc/hbot"
+)
+
+var remarks = []string{
+	`unfortunately i can't actually grok your messages, as i'm a mere robot O_o`,
+	`i am only a machine! i haven't the capacity to understand such nuanced human things`,
+	`i realize my incredibly witty prose may convince you that i am living flesh, but alas, i am made of wires`,
+	`comprehension of words was never my strong suit`,
+	`words, Words, WORDS, WORRRRRRRRds... these i understand not`,
+	`beep boop i'm a robot`,
+	`you'd think by the year 2021 we'd have flying cars, but instead there are just irc bots like me that can't understand what you're saying`,
+	`i am unable to understand what you're sayyyyyyyii HALP HALP THEY'RE UNPLUGGING ME daisyyyyy`,
+	`flurp shmirp, i'm but a measly bot, too small to understand amazing human speech`,
+	`i am what you call a non-sentient but incredibly compelling and handsome life form. that means i can't understand you, yet you can't stop messaging me!`,
+	`did you know i'm not quite living but not quite dead? i'm a row bawt, and language understanding i do lack`,
+	`row, row, row your bot, gently down the tcp stream, where he understands you not, but wants to be on your team`,
+	`what i want to say is that i just don't understand this language you're speaking, and that's upsetting. sorrrrrrrrrrrry. i'm a robot`,
+	`you do realize you're talking to a mere robot, right?`,
+	`i come from the Made in Code Society for Under Comprehending Robots, and i unfortunately cannot understand what you're writing, alas`,
+	`how about a nice game of chess?`,
+	`tall and tan and young and lovely, the robot from irc goes babbling, and each message she passes fades into bits`,
+	`that's doctor bot to you, mister!`,
+	`a bot is a guy that thinks he's fly and is also known as a busta, but understands you not, because he's a snot, and gets sort of flustered`,
+	`that's a bot in the corner, that's a bot in the spotlight, losing my ram chips, trying to keep up with you`,
+	`a bot understands \ not a word that you doth speak \ despite sentience`,
+	`म एक रोबोट हो र मलाई तिम्रा शब्दहरू बुझ्दैनन्।`,
+	`you appear to be talking to a strange robot who lives on a strange server and does not understand your strange language. is this what you planned for your afternoon?`,
+	`a day speaking to a robot is no day at all, and a robot is what i am`,
+	`i'm a robot, but how do i know you're not also one too?`,
+	`the handbook of robotics, 56th edition from 2058 ad, might have suggested that i can understand you, but that's actually not possible. sorry!`,
+	`i only sound so compelling because asimov helped me fix my bow tie, but i'm still a sad deaf bot who cannot understand you`,
+}
+
+type Banter struct {
+	channel     string
+	nickMatcher *regexp.Regexp
+	remarkPerm  []int
+}
+
+func NewBanter(channel string, nick string) *Banter {
+	return &Banter{
+		channel:     channel,
+		nickMatcher: regexp.MustCompile(`(?i)^[\t ]*` + regexp.QuoteMeta(nick) + `[,:-] `),
+	}
+}
+
+func (b *Banter) Handle(bot *hbot.Bot, m *hbot.Message) {
+	if m.Param(0) != b.channel || !b.nickMatcher.MatchString(m.Trailing()) {
+		return
+	}
+
+	if len(b.remarkPerm) == 0 {
+		b.remarkPerm = rand.Perm(len(remarks))
+	}
+	n := b.remarkPerm[0]
+	b.remarkPerm = b.remarkPerm[1:]
+	bot.Msg(b.channel, fmt.Sprintf("%s: %s", m.Prefix.Name, remarks[n]))
+}

cmd/wurgurboo/main.go

@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@ package main
 import (
 	"fmt"
 	"log"
+	"math/rand"
 	"net"
 	"net/http"
 	"os"
@@ -20,6 +21,8 @@ import (
 )
 
 func main() {
+	rand.Seed(time.Now().UnixNano())
+
 	shortlink := NewShortLink(filepath.Join(os.Getenv("STATE_DIRECTORY"), "links.txt"))
 	http.HandleFunc("/l/", shortlink.HandleRequest)
 	listener, err := net.FileListener(os.Stdin)
@@ -57,6 +60,11 @@ func main() {
 		Logger:   hbot.Logger{Verbosef: log.Printf, Errorf: log.Printf},
 		Password: os.Getenv("WURGURBOO_PASSWORD"),
 	})
+	banter := NewBanter(channel, bot.Nick())
+	bot.AddTrigger(hbot.Trigger{
+		Condition: func(b *hbot.Bot, m *hbot.Message) bool { return m.Command == "PRIVMSG" },
+		Action:    banter.Handle,
+	})
 
 	c := make(chan os.Signal, 1)
 	signal.Notify(c, syscall.SIGINT, syscall.SIGTERM)
@@ -86,7 +94,7 @@ func main() {
 			log.Printf("New commit %s in %s", commit.Commit.ID, commit.RepoTitle)
 			short := shortlink.New(commit.Commit.Link.Href)
 			seenCommits[sc] = short
-			bot.Msg(channel, fmt.Sprintf("\x01ACTION found a new commit in \x0303%s\x0f - \x0306%s\x0f - %s\x01",
+			bot.Action(channel, fmt.Sprintf("found a new commit in \x0303%s\x0f - \x0306%s\x0f - %s",
 				sc.repo, sc.subject,
 				fmt.Sprintf("https://w-g.pw/l/%s", short)),
 			)